What I’ve Learned About Parenting From Preparing My Baby Shower Registry

Thanks to Skadie from Stock Xchng for the above picture.

I’ve been pregnant for the last 7 months and my baby shower is today I’ve been worried about all the new stuff that’s going to be brought into our house. We already need to get rid of some things but after today we will be adding LOTS more!

The way I tried to deal with this was to help my friends and family understand what kind of parents and household we plan to have. People have a very set way of thinking when it comes to parenting and baby showers. So I hit some roadblocks early on. I know that parenting is stressful but I have ideas to lessen the stress and it all starts with the Baby Shower Registry.

Do Things Your Way

My husband and I have never been the conventional types. We are doing a homebirth, we are going to co-sleep and we aren’t going to buy one jar of baby food or formula. The first thing I had to learn was to develop a thick skin. Everyone I meet wants to share their advice with me and tell me what to do and what not to do. At first it bothered me but then I thought, “Wait, this is my baby and my family. I will make mistakes but I’m a smart girl and will figure it out my way.” There’s nothing wrong with not parenting the way your mom or grandma did.

Don’t Be Afraid To Say No

A lot of the things I’ve done to get ready for baby have been mental. Thinking about what’s going to happen at the birth. Planning out where to put everything. And researching what I need to be prepared. I spent a lot time pondering the things I don’t want:

No Crib – no space

No baby food – will breastfeed and then move on to solid food

No formula – will breastfeed

No brand-name clothing

No plastic toys – take up too much space and won’t use them very long

No bouncy seats – take up too much space

No baby tub – will take baby in the shower with me

I found that people don’t like to be told what not to buy you for a baby shower.

Don’t Worry About Breaking Tradition

Because I made this “do not want” list it didn’t leave much more items to list on my baby shower registry. I was about to just list onsies and more clothes but then I thought, “Hey, I want some stuff too!” Like a massage and it’s been a long while since I’ve had wine so I listed a massage gift card and a Binny’s gift card. My grandma didn’t like this. It’s tradition to only list stuff for baby, right? Who says!? I’m going to labor for hours and push a baby out and then I’m going to be a walking milk fountain for 6 months to a year. I think I deserve some stuff too!

When All Else Fails: Trust Yourself

Planning a home birth requires a LOT of trust in yourself. So does parenting in general. The sooner you start letting people know that you are going to be the one making decisions here the sooner you will start to feel more confident in your abilities as a parent. Your friends and family will naturally want to help. Many people will try to help even if you don’t need it or don’t ask. It’s easy to just let them help and do what they say. But this can also lead to you not thinking you can do it on your own. And there will be plenty of times when you are on your own and need to make a decision. Might as well get practice now.

Parents are told day and night how to raise their kids. And we are told from all angles: TV, magazines, the news, the government, various parenting groups and on top of all this we have our own friends and family telling us what to do. Explain that you have a plan and you would like to work things out on your own. If they still don’t get it then just listen to what they have to say with a smile on your face and do things your own way anyway

Quests, Reunions & RPGs

I learn something new every day about being Sane & Satisfied. And today I learned that it has something to do with Role Playing Games. At least in part and at least for me.

I’ve never really been that into RPGs. The whole turn-based fighting really gets me. I do like being able to play with other people in a fictional world that you can control and manipulate. I really like RPGs that seemingly never end. Plus I love going on quests.

So what do role playing games have to do with Sane & Satisfied? I think it has something to do with the fact that even in real life we all have our Avatars who come out when particular circumstances arise. Certain people whether they are family members or just day-to-day acquaintances trigger particular strengths and weaknesses.

I just spent the weekend in a hotel with my family. It was an impromptu reunion. Normally I’m very outgoing and witty and am relaxed in the company of others. However, around some of my family I’m no more clever than a rock. They suck my energy dry and I can’t think of a darn thing.

Now, when I’m around my husband, which is obviously an awful lot of the time, I usually think to myself that I should be a stand up comedian. I mean, I don’t even have to try hard to be funny around him. Fortunately, I understand myself enough to realize that while my husband may be falling off his chair laughing that does not mean that a room full of half drunk people would do the same.

We all RPG through life. Which got me thinking: Who is the real true me?

I think that we understand unconsciously what skills and abilities we need to equip around certain people. This makes it seem like we are acting differently around them but I think that some of our natural traits are simply more prominent during these moments.

Maybe that’s another way that RPG relates to Sane & Satisfied: when you don’t know the real person behind the avatar you are fighting or raiding with you don’t really know what personal abilities and traits to bring to the front. Most people think that gamers are trying to escape to a fantasy world but I wonder if gamers are more themselves than the rest of us are.

Wordless Wednesday: Refreshing

Today’s Wordless Wednesday comes from the adorable blog, The Proper Pinwheel. Lexy teaches you how to make Raspberry Sorbet in lemon bowls. They look yummy don’t they? Very Sane & Satisfied.

I chose this image to reflect the word Refreshing because since I’ve been pregnant my food routine has been completely disrupted. I had really bad morning sickness for almost 4 months and could barely eat anything except fruit and bread. At 31 weeks, I’m feeling much better. I can eat pretty much anything but a lot of food just doesn’t excite me like it used to. And that makes me sad

So I’ve been trying to find recipes that excite me but are healthy too. And I realized the type of food I really want right now is “refreshing food” like fruit salad, pasta salad, ice cream, watermelon, deli sandwich, ice cold tea…yummy!

I love food and I’m glad I’m pregnant but I can’t wait to get back to really enjoying food again.

Coming Up This Week On The Sane & Satisfied Blog

I talk about what the word “refreshing” means to me in Wordless Wednesday.

I get a little nerdy with “Quests, Reunions and RPGs”

I share my experience with staying Sane & Satisfied while getting ready for baby. Plus my baby shower is this Saturday!

and a Roundup of Ways to Save Money on Sunday Smorgasbord.

Hope you join me this week on the Blog

Happy Monday! In Case You Missed It…

Last week contained both happiness and sadness for me. I felt really productive (which is a rarity for me) and I finally got my head wrapped around some things that I had been struggling with for a while. But then yesterday we unexpectedly had to say goodbye to one of our kitties, Big Eyes. I guess it wasn’t completely unexpected. We had been trying to find a home for her but we were dragging our feet. We became too attached.

Then, when we had almost resigned ourselves to the fact that we might just have to keep her a young man who worked at the local pet store texted me that he’s interested in taking her home right away.

We immediately started thinking up reasons to not let her go home with this person. “He’s a boy.” “What if he doesn’t have a good job?” “I feel more comfortable giving her to someone we already know.” “But Big Eyes is such a mommy’s girl. Maybe we should just keep her.” It’s interesting the excuses we make up for not doing something we know we should do.

Anyway, we got through it and the new owner, Alex, came over and I could immediately tell he was a nice person. I asked him a few questions to become more comfortable: “How old are you?” “Do you live with your parents?” And it made me realize the importance of communication and the hindrance of assuming. I think most fear and excuse-making comes from a lack of knowledge. But as soon as you start asking questions the darkness and fear begins to lift

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Now enough of that mushy stuff. Here are the posts from last week in case you missed them:

Book Review Wednesday: The 4-Hour Workweek – A review of a pretty controversial book about productivity and not accepting other people’s rules.

The Art of Arguing – In which I talk about the importance of arguing and how to be a good arguer.

Home Spa Saturday: DIY Face Scrub – 3 easy peasy face scrubs you can make at home with ingredients from your own kitchen.

Sunday Smorgasbord: 10 Resources to learn skills and knowledge – A Resource Roundup of online tools I use to learn more skills and figure stuff out.

I hope you are having a Happy Monday! Get out there, learn something new, and create something with your own hands!

Sunday Smorgasbord: 10 Resources to learn new skills and knowledge

What is Sunday Smorgasbord?

In Sunday Smorgasbord we celebrate all the skills, talents, resources, hobbies and ideas that humans can use to grow and prosper. You have everything you need to get started right now. So get up and start creating! Because there’s no magic pill for life.

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This Week’s Sunday Smorgasbord: 10 Resources to learn new skills and knowledge

The concept of Sane & Satisfied rests on the foundation of Self Education. If you know what your skills are and understand how to use them and are motivated to learn more skills you can overcome any obstacle and are better able to create a happy and fulfilling life. So today, I thought I would do a roundup of my favorite online resources that I have used over the years to learn new skills and gain knowledge.

Home Spa Saturday: DIY Face Scrub

Relaxing, pampering, and taking time for ourselves is an simple yet often over-looked step to being Sane & Satisfied. So the third Saturday of every month I will feature a DIY spa treatment. It doesn’t take much time or effort to enjoy luxurious treats at home without spending a fortune. Take a break and enjoy

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Today’s Home Spa Saturday treat is a super easy face scrub. Face scrubs are great to add to any skin care routine because they feel wonderful while applying them and leave your skin soft and free of dirt and nastiness.

The Art of Arguing

I have gotten into my fair share of arguments. I won’t deny it. And I have noticed a pattern: Most people just do not understand how to argue.

I’ve been told that arguing is bad, disrespectful, a waste of time and offensive. Arguing is such a taboo in fact that we have come up with various alternative words to describe what’s basically a disagreement. Discussion, debate, dispute, quarrel and squabble are just a few. And even though these all mean pretty much the same thing none of them comes close to eliciting emotion like the word “argument” can.

Book Review Wednesday: The 4-Hour Workweek

The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss seems like the most controversial book in the self-help industry. Timothy is an odd duck. It doesn’t help that he makes a living experimenting on himself either. And he doesn’t seem to have any regard for other people’s rules. I’ve read a lot of reviews on The 4 Hour Workweek ranging from gushing, foot-kissing fealty to one-liners, sprinkled with 4 Letter Words. Actually most of the reviews fell into these two extremes. Apparently we either love or hate Tim Ferriss.

Most of the criticism of the book centers around the fact that “it’s impossible to only work 4 hours a week” and even Timothy admits that he works way more than 4 hours a week. But Tim didn’t write the book for people like himself. He wrote it for people who are working way too many hours at a job they hate. This book gives tools and advice on how to streamline your current endeavors while building a new kind of business and teaching you how not to fall into the same time-suck traps you did before. For someone who runs a drop-ship t-shirt company or sells a how-to manual, working only 4 hours a week is quite doable.

Happy Monday: In Case You Missed It

While my oatmeal is cooking on the stove I thought I would recap what went on at Sane & Satisfied Blog last week.

Hide Your Crazy – We talked about the fine line between being respectful and hiding who you truly are.

Freebie Friday: Sane & Satisfied Badge – Download a free badge to use on your blog, in email and in social media to show others that you are Sane & Satisfied.

DIY Health Plan – I help you create your own health plan that actually works for you.

Sunday Smorgasbord: Entrepreneur Games – A list of games that teach you about business and entrepreneurship. Take a break and play one today

Ok, I think my oatmeal is ready now. Gotta go.