I’ve been pregnant for the last 7 months and my baby shower is today I’ve been worried about all the new stuff that’s going to be brought into our house. We already need to get rid of some things but after today we will be adding LOTS more!
The way I tried to deal with this was to help my friends and family understand what kind of parents and household we plan to have. People have a very set way of thinking when it comes to parenting and baby showers. So I hit some roadblocks early on. I know that parenting is stressful but I have ideas to lessen the stress and it all starts with the Baby Shower Registry.
Do Things Your Way
My husband and I have never been the conventional types. We are doing a homebirth, we are going to co-sleep and we aren’t going to buy one jar of baby food or formula. The first thing I had to learn was to develop a thick skin. Everyone I meet wants to share their advice with me and tell me what to do and what not to do. At first it bothered me but then I thought, “Wait, this is my baby and my family. I will make mistakes but I’m a smart girl and will figure it out my way.” There’s nothing wrong with not parenting the way your mom or grandma did.
Don’t Be Afraid To Say No
A lot of the things I’ve done to get ready for baby have been mental. Thinking about what’s going to happen at the birth. Planning out where to put everything. And researching what I need to be prepared. I spent a lot time pondering the things I don’t want:
No Crib – no space
No baby food – will breastfeed and then move on to solid food
No formula – will breastfeed
No brand-name clothing
No plastic toys – take up too much space and won’t use them very long
No bouncy seats – take up too much space
No baby tub – will take baby in the shower with me
I found that people don’t like to be told what not to buy you for a baby shower.
Don’t Worry About Breaking Tradition
Because I made this “do not want” list it didn’t leave much more items to list on my baby shower registry. I was about to just list onsies and more clothes but then I thought, “Hey, I want some stuff too!” Like a massage and it’s been a long while since I’ve had wine so I listed a massage gift card and a Binny’s gift card. My grandma didn’t like this. It’s tradition to only list stuff for baby, right? Who says!? I’m going to labor for hours and push a baby out and then I’m going to be a walking milk fountain for 6 months to a year. I think I deserve some stuff too!
When All Else Fails: Trust Yourself
Planning a home birth requires a LOT of trust in yourself. So does parenting in general. The sooner you start letting people know that you are going to be the one making decisions here the sooner you will start to feel more confident in your abilities as a parent. Your friends and family will naturally want to help. Many people will try to help even if you don’t need it or don’t ask. It’s easy to just let them help and do what they say. But this can also lead to you not thinking you can do it on your own. And there will be plenty of times when you are on your own and need to make a decision. Might as well get practice now.
Parents are told day and night how to raise their kids. And we are told from all angles: TV, magazines, the news, the government, various parenting groups and on top of all this we have our own friends and family telling us what to do. Explain that you have a plan and you would like to work things out on your own. If they still don’t get it then just listen to what they have to say with a smile on your face and do things your own way anyway